In the grand scheme of things, it's not as bad as it could be. That having been said, it's still bad. Worse than we thought, worse than we hoped. . . and I honestly think worse than anyone (other than I) feared.
The official diagnosis is Stage 4 breast cancer that has spread to three lymph nodes and both lungs. The spots on the lungs are small, about the size of a pea, but they are there. No one seems to be able to function right now. D's dad, V, spent the evening yesterday on the phone with everyone and cleaning the grill. His mom, B, spent the evening alternating between crying and telling the grandkids about the surgeries she's going to have this summer (lovely). His sister and brother-in-law were busy trying to do their jobs and still be there. (He runs the IT dept at the university, she took her buy-out from the university and is going to school full-time.) D replaced their window screens. I cooked.
The plan, unless she opts for other treatments that are less aggressive, is to start chemo within a week and go weekly until further notice. She will be doing two forms of chemo and possibly even a protocol program from Vanderbilt-Ingram. (it is currently used for renal cancer and is being tested for use in breast cancer) The protocol is at no cost, and is in pill form, taken daily. There are no plans for surgery being made, as the oncologist refuses to discuss it until other avenues have been exhausted. As he said, at this point, it isn't going to help.
As of right now, D's sister will be taking B to chemo each week, so long as B can schedule it and be in and out and back home (alone?) before she has to be in class at 12:30. I apparently am to baby-sit our 10 year-old niece while B is at chemo, as she does not want anything to do with B's cancer. I can't say as I blame the kid for not wanting to be around it. I did it with my grandfather when I was nine, and it wasn't a fun summer. BUT - I didn't volunteer to babysit. I'm not keeping her while her mom is in class, so I'm not real sure how this is going to work. It might be simpler for ME to take B to chemo, since C will be with his mother and J will go just about anywhere and be happy, especially if he takes his iPod. Better still, if the chemo is on Tuesdays, my mom is off work and can keep J while I take B to chemo and then stay at the house with her afterward. I'm not volunteering any of this, as it is not my place nor is it my mother. (can you tell what I've been told lately? mom is certain I'm going to "take over" like I tend to do when there are problems and no one else steps up.)
My house is a wreck. The kids and dogs and cats make messes, but don't clean them up. I've been battling allergies (never had any until this year and I'm making up lost time) and dealing with long periods of "zoning out" while trying to deal with all this and thinking of ways to help D. I have quit using the clothes dryer (electric bill down to 1/3 of what it had been!) and also quit using the dishwasher. The clothes are all getting folded, but D and I are struggling with putting away ours. The dishes are mostly getting washed, except for the silverware. For some reason, neither of us can manage to wash that when we wash dishes.
I'm still waiting to hear about my job with the university. I'm still optimistic, now more so than ever. The income would be great, and J would have summer camp at school to go to, thus occupying his mind while B gets worse.
There are other things I need to blog about, but I'm wiped out. D's got a ballgame tonight, so I get to go hang out at the ballpark and have some fun. :-) I need that! I think I'm going to try to go out after J gets in bed and get drinks or a late dinner or something, maybe. Or maybe D and I will crash on the couch with episodes of Buffy and Angel from Netflix on the Wii.
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