Today may not be Monday, but my Monday was so manic it bled over onto today. Getting the house ready for me to be a working Mommy and also be ready for the party on the Fourth has been an ordeal. On the plus side, the house is starting to look GREAT! I have finished the living room, dining room, and the boys' room. The kitchen is almost done, I just have a few odds and ends to put away. The hallway is likewise almost done, I just need to dust picture frames. Our room needs a bit more work, but I can only do so much until D builds me a closet. The playroom is my biggest hurdle indoors, and even it doesn't need much. I have to put some books up and dust, and J needs to finish putting away a few toys. Outdoors, I need to finish weeding the vegetable garden, weed the herb garden, and prep the flower beds for mulch. Then I am done! D will be off on Friday while I work (that still seems strange!), so he is mulching all day.
J started ESP yesterday at school, for about half a day. I was going to feed him breakfast at home today (breakfast and lunch are included in ESP fees), but he got up while I was working on my room and packed his snack for ESP and asked if he could eat at school. So he was at ESP at 7:30 this morning! Luckily, that's what time I need to be getting him there so I have time to find a parking spot and get to my office (strange!). He LOVES ESP, and they have a field trip for Friday to go see Toy Story 3, so that will make his week even better. I'm so glad he's enjoying it, because I was very worried that this transition was going to be difficult. Having him at school let me get so much accomplished over the last two days, and lets me spend time with him when he's home.
I went and got some clothes for work earlier, and now I'm ready for a nap. My body is convinced it's 5:00 or so, even though it's really only 1:30. I guess I'm going to go work on the house some more. . . may as well, since I've got time to kill.
29 June 2010
28 June 2010
Strange Things
I am awake and blogging at 6:30 in the morning on a Monday. I start working on Thursday, so I need to start getting up and going to bed on my "work" routine now. . . and I don't like it! I am NOT a morning person! J slept in his bed last night for the first time since school got out. I didn't really like that either, but we are back on that routine now, too, since he is starting ESP today. :-(
I managed to get quite a lot accomplished over the weekend, despite not being home for 2/3 of it. The living room is still clean(!), and now the kitchen is 95% there as well. I need to do the floors, but I'm not too concerned about that. The dining room is cleaned, but I have stuff on the table that needs to be put away. I haven't dusted in the hallway, and I need to put up clothes in the boys' room (usually their job, but I need to cull out those things that are too small before school starts). Our room hasn't been touched, and the playroom needs a bit of work. I should only have three loads of laundry to wash and dry on Wednesday (two of clothing to line dry, one of socks and underwear that get to go in the dryer). I'm almost there! The end is in sight!
Now, for why I was not cleaning my house over this weekend as I should have been. D's mother started chemo two weeks ago. Saturday night, D's sister and I threw a "hat party" for her, where all the guests wore hats and brought her gifts (movies, iTunes cards, yarn for crocheting, books, etc) that she can use while doing the chemo or while recovering at home. The party was a lot of fun, and she seemed to enjoy herself. Anyway, Friday was spent cleaning my m-i-l's house for the party. . . and then grocery shopping. Saturday was spent at her house again, getting things ready and cleaning again, and then the party. Saturday was the longest day of my life. My legs and feet and back still hurt!
Friday night we did take time out to go to the drive-in with J and see Toy Story 3. If you haven't seen it, skip down to the bottom, because I'm about to give details. I started crying during the opening home video scenes. I thought it was so sweet that it was the same play time theme as the first Toy Story. I collected myself and was good until Chuckles starting talking about Daisy and telling their story. I lost it. And I was very mad at her parents! D and I know where J's favorites are at all times! I didn't stop crying until the movie was over. The scene at the landfill with the incinerator did me in. I was convinced it was over and they were going to die and that was how the trilogy would end. I was sobbing. J spent the last ten minutes rubbing my back and telling me "It's okay, Mommy." When Andy was playing with Bonnie, I couldn't see the screen. Even D was crying. I loved that Andy didn't want to give up Woody. That was wonderful. Part of what made us both so emotional, aside from growing up with the Toy Story franchise, is the fact that J is our own Andy. His equivalent of Woody is Boo Boo, a giraffe D gave me in the hospital when I had kidney surgery while pregnant with J. When J was born, he "stole" it from me. (he loves this giraffe to the point that while we were in Disney World, he wanted to take him to Animal Kingdom to show him his family and we had to find a shirt small enough to fit him because "Boo Boo needs a souvenir too!" No joke.) Since I was so distraught by the movie, when J went home with my mom from the party Saturday night, he told me he didn't pack Boo Boo, but left him on my pillow to cuddle with me because I needed some Boo Boo love. (Is that not the sweetest thing?)
Much as I don't want to, I suppose I need to actually get out of my comfortable bed and work some on the house before going to sign J up for ESP and let him stay for a few hours today. Even thinking about doing more housework makes my body throb in pain. I just have to remember that the house will be beautiful for all our company this weekend!
I managed to get quite a lot accomplished over the weekend, despite not being home for 2/3 of it. The living room is still clean(!), and now the kitchen is 95% there as well. I need to do the floors, but I'm not too concerned about that. The dining room is cleaned, but I have stuff on the table that needs to be put away. I haven't dusted in the hallway, and I need to put up clothes in the boys' room (usually their job, but I need to cull out those things that are too small before school starts). Our room hasn't been touched, and the playroom needs a bit of work. I should only have three loads of laundry to wash and dry on Wednesday (two of clothing to line dry, one of socks and underwear that get to go in the dryer). I'm almost there! The end is in sight!
Now, for why I was not cleaning my house over this weekend as I should have been. D's mother started chemo two weeks ago. Saturday night, D's sister and I threw a "hat party" for her, where all the guests wore hats and brought her gifts (movies, iTunes cards, yarn for crocheting, books, etc) that she can use while doing the chemo or while recovering at home. The party was a lot of fun, and she seemed to enjoy herself. Anyway, Friday was spent cleaning my m-i-l's house for the party. . . and then grocery shopping. Saturday was spent at her house again, getting things ready and cleaning again, and then the party. Saturday was the longest day of my life. My legs and feet and back still hurt!
Friday night we did take time out to go to the drive-in with J and see Toy Story 3. If you haven't seen it, skip down to the bottom, because I'm about to give details. I started crying during the opening home video scenes. I thought it was so sweet that it was the same play time theme as the first Toy Story. I collected myself and was good until Chuckles starting talking about Daisy and telling their story. I lost it. And I was very mad at her parents! D and I know where J's favorites are at all times! I didn't stop crying until the movie was over. The scene at the landfill with the incinerator did me in. I was convinced it was over and they were going to die and that was how the trilogy would end. I was sobbing. J spent the last ten minutes rubbing my back and telling me "It's okay, Mommy." When Andy was playing with Bonnie, I couldn't see the screen. Even D was crying. I loved that Andy didn't want to give up Woody. That was wonderful. Part of what made us both so emotional, aside from growing up with the Toy Story franchise, is the fact that J is our own Andy. His equivalent of Woody is Boo Boo, a giraffe D gave me in the hospital when I had kidney surgery while pregnant with J. When J was born, he "stole" it from me. (he loves this giraffe to the point that while we were in Disney World, he wanted to take him to Animal Kingdom to show him his family and we had to find a shirt small enough to fit him because "Boo Boo needs a souvenir too!" No joke.) Since I was so distraught by the movie, when J went home with my mom from the party Saturday night, he told me he didn't pack Boo Boo, but left him on my pillow to cuddle with me because I needed some Boo Boo love. (Is that not the sweetest thing?)
Much as I don't want to, I suppose I need to actually get out of my comfortable bed and work some on the house before going to sign J up for ESP and let him stay for a few hours today. Even thinking about doing more housework makes my body throb in pain. I just have to remember that the house will be beautiful for all our company this weekend!
23 June 2010
She Works Hard for the Money. . .
I GOT THE JOB!!
Yes, I'm a little excited. With good reason. I applied for a job at the University in APRIL. I interviewed in May. (applied mid-April, interviewed May 16, to clarify) I got the call yesterday and I start July 1. I am so grateful, relieved, excited, nervous. . . .
Yesterday was all-around an awesome day for me. Our internet had been acting up and not connecting, so D picked up a modem from work. When it didn't solve the problem, we called tech support (bad idea). That actually made it worse. So when he went to work yesterday, D mentioned to one of the supers that we were having issues. At 8:15 there was a tech in the driveway. By 9:00 there was a tech in a bucket truck in the road, up on the line. By 11:00, D was here, adding his AT&T van to the mix. By 11:30, we had another bucket truck and a super here. The problem? Squirrels chewed through the cable on the line. So, D's buddies and coworkers fixed the problem and one even sat on the floor with me to set back up the wireless network that tech support screwed up. First wonderful part of the day - internet service!
Second wonderful part of the day - getting the job offer! The Associate Dean of the Department of Education called and offered me the position. And I said yes!
Third wonderful part of the day - D's baseball team played their best game of the season last night. They lost by one, but it was the best game I've seen them play all year.
Fourth wonderful part of the day - is actually a carry over into today - D and I are celebrating our seventh wedding anniversary today!
That's all I've got. . . I've got a house to get very clean and ready for me to be a working girl.
Yes, I'm a little excited. With good reason. I applied for a job at the University in APRIL. I interviewed in May. (applied mid-April, interviewed May 16, to clarify) I got the call yesterday and I start July 1. I am so grateful, relieved, excited, nervous. . . .
Yesterday was all-around an awesome day for me. Our internet had been acting up and not connecting, so D picked up a modem from work. When it didn't solve the problem, we called tech support (bad idea). That actually made it worse. So when he went to work yesterday, D mentioned to one of the supers that we were having issues. At 8:15 there was a tech in the driveway. By 9:00 there was a tech in a bucket truck in the road, up on the line. By 11:00, D was here, adding his AT&T van to the mix. By 11:30, we had another bucket truck and a super here. The problem? Squirrels chewed through the cable on the line. So, D's buddies and coworkers fixed the problem and one even sat on the floor with me to set back up the wireless network that tech support screwed up. First wonderful part of the day - internet service!
Second wonderful part of the day - getting the job offer! The Associate Dean of the Department of Education called and offered me the position. And I said yes!
Third wonderful part of the day - D's baseball team played their best game of the season last night. They lost by one, but it was the best game I've seen them play all year.
Fourth wonderful part of the day - is actually a carry over into today - D and I are celebrating our seventh wedding anniversary today!
That's all I've got. . . I've got a house to get very clean and ready for me to be a working girl.
15 June 2010
Lost: husband
I like to be upbeat. I like to be positive. Sometimes that's hard to do, especially when surrounded by negativity. That's been happening a lot lately.
D has been, well, depressed lately. I understand why. I get it. But I've been working my tail off and he doesn't seem to notice or care. I've felt for a while now (since well before his mother was diagnosed with cancer) that our relationship was becoming one sided. I seem to give and he gets to take. Hardly fair or even. And I try to be the wife God tells me to be, but not getting anything in return isn't part of the marriage plan. I'm not looking for an award or even help. I'm looking for a foot rub at the end of a long day working while he sits on the couch and plays a computer game. I'm looking to cuddle after a long day of cleaning and taking care of his mother. I'm looking for an 'I love you' and a kiss at least once during the day. I'm looking for my husband!
That's all I've got for now. I'm too irritated to write more.
D has been, well, depressed lately. I understand why. I get it. But I've been working my tail off and he doesn't seem to notice or care. I've felt for a while now (since well before his mother was diagnosed with cancer) that our relationship was becoming one sided. I seem to give and he gets to take. Hardly fair or even. And I try to be the wife God tells me to be, but not getting anything in return isn't part of the marriage plan. I'm not looking for an award or even help. I'm looking for a foot rub at the end of a long day working while he sits on the couch and plays a computer game. I'm looking to cuddle after a long day of cleaning and taking care of his mother. I'm looking for an 'I love you' and a kiss at least once during the day. I'm looking for my husband!
That's all I've got for now. I'm too irritated to write more.
04 June 2010
It's the End of the World as We Know It
In the grand scheme of things, it's not as bad as it could be. That having been said, it's still bad. Worse than we thought, worse than we hoped. . . and I honestly think worse than anyone (other than I) feared.
The official diagnosis is Stage 4 breast cancer that has spread to three lymph nodes and both lungs. The spots on the lungs are small, about the size of a pea, but they are there. No one seems to be able to function right now. D's dad, V, spent the evening yesterday on the phone with everyone and cleaning the grill. His mom, B, spent the evening alternating between crying and telling the grandkids about the surgeries she's going to have this summer (lovely). His sister and brother-in-law were busy trying to do their jobs and still be there. (He runs the IT dept at the university, she took her buy-out from the university and is going to school full-time.) D replaced their window screens. I cooked.
The plan, unless she opts for other treatments that are less aggressive, is to start chemo within a week and go weekly until further notice. She will be doing two forms of chemo and possibly even a protocol program from Vanderbilt-Ingram. (it is currently used for renal cancer and is being tested for use in breast cancer) The protocol is at no cost, and is in pill form, taken daily. There are no plans for surgery being made, as the oncologist refuses to discuss it until other avenues have been exhausted. As he said, at this point, it isn't going to help.
As of right now, D's sister will be taking B to chemo each week, so long as B can schedule it and be in and out and back home (alone?) before she has to be in class at 12:30. I apparently am to baby-sit our 10 year-old niece while B is at chemo, as she does not want anything to do with B's cancer. I can't say as I blame the kid for not wanting to be around it. I did it with my grandfather when I was nine, and it wasn't a fun summer. BUT - I didn't volunteer to babysit. I'm not keeping her while her mom is in class, so I'm not real sure how this is going to work. It might be simpler for ME to take B to chemo, since C will be with his mother and J will go just about anywhere and be happy, especially if he takes his iPod. Better still, if the chemo is on Tuesdays, my mom is off work and can keep J while I take B to chemo and then stay at the house with her afterward. I'm not volunteering any of this, as it is not my place nor is it my mother. (can you tell what I've been told lately? mom is certain I'm going to "take over" like I tend to do when there are problems and no one else steps up.)
My house is a wreck. The kids and dogs and cats make messes, but don't clean them up. I've been battling allergies (never had any until this year and I'm making up lost time) and dealing with long periods of "zoning out" while trying to deal with all this and thinking of ways to help D. I have quit using the clothes dryer (electric bill down to 1/3 of what it had been!) and also quit using the dishwasher. The clothes are all getting folded, but D and I are struggling with putting away ours. The dishes are mostly getting washed, except for the silverware. For some reason, neither of us can manage to wash that when we wash dishes.
I'm still waiting to hear about my job with the university. I'm still optimistic, now more so than ever. The income would be great, and J would have summer camp at school to go to, thus occupying his mind while B gets worse.
There are other things I need to blog about, but I'm wiped out. D's got a ballgame tonight, so I get to go hang out at the ballpark and have some fun. :-) I need that! I think I'm going to try to go out after J gets in bed and get drinks or a late dinner or something, maybe. Or maybe D and I will crash on the couch with episodes of Buffy and Angel from Netflix on the Wii.
The official diagnosis is Stage 4 breast cancer that has spread to three lymph nodes and both lungs. The spots on the lungs are small, about the size of a pea, but they are there. No one seems to be able to function right now. D's dad, V, spent the evening yesterday on the phone with everyone and cleaning the grill. His mom, B, spent the evening alternating between crying and telling the grandkids about the surgeries she's going to have this summer (lovely). His sister and brother-in-law were busy trying to do their jobs and still be there. (He runs the IT dept at the university, she took her buy-out from the university and is going to school full-time.) D replaced their window screens. I cooked.
The plan, unless she opts for other treatments that are less aggressive, is to start chemo within a week and go weekly until further notice. She will be doing two forms of chemo and possibly even a protocol program from Vanderbilt-Ingram. (it is currently used for renal cancer and is being tested for use in breast cancer) The protocol is at no cost, and is in pill form, taken daily. There are no plans for surgery being made, as the oncologist refuses to discuss it until other avenues have been exhausted. As he said, at this point, it isn't going to help.
As of right now, D's sister will be taking B to chemo each week, so long as B can schedule it and be in and out and back home (alone?) before she has to be in class at 12:30. I apparently am to baby-sit our 10 year-old niece while B is at chemo, as she does not want anything to do with B's cancer. I can't say as I blame the kid for not wanting to be around it. I did it with my grandfather when I was nine, and it wasn't a fun summer. BUT - I didn't volunteer to babysit. I'm not keeping her while her mom is in class, so I'm not real sure how this is going to work. It might be simpler for ME to take B to chemo, since C will be with his mother and J will go just about anywhere and be happy, especially if he takes his iPod. Better still, if the chemo is on Tuesdays, my mom is off work and can keep J while I take B to chemo and then stay at the house with her afterward. I'm not volunteering any of this, as it is not my place nor is it my mother. (can you tell what I've been told lately? mom is certain I'm going to "take over" like I tend to do when there are problems and no one else steps up.)
My house is a wreck. The kids and dogs and cats make messes, but don't clean them up. I've been battling allergies (never had any until this year and I'm making up lost time) and dealing with long periods of "zoning out" while trying to deal with all this and thinking of ways to help D. I have quit using the clothes dryer (electric bill down to 1/3 of what it had been!) and also quit using the dishwasher. The clothes are all getting folded, but D and I are struggling with putting away ours. The dishes are mostly getting washed, except for the silverware. For some reason, neither of us can manage to wash that when we wash dishes.
I'm still waiting to hear about my job with the university. I'm still optimistic, now more so than ever. The income would be great, and J would have summer camp at school to go to, thus occupying his mind while B gets worse.
There are other things I need to blog about, but I'm wiped out. D's got a ballgame tonight, so I get to go hang out at the ballpark and have some fun. :-) I need that! I think I'm going to try to go out after J gets in bed and get drinks or a late dinner or something, maybe. Or maybe D and I will crash on the couch with episodes of Buffy and Angel from Netflix on the Wii.
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