"You didn't 'put me out.' If it was going to put me out, I wouldn't do it."
Gee, doesn't that make me just warm and fuzzy inside. Those words came from my husband's mouth this morning after I thanked him for (grudgingly) rubbing lotion on my sunburned back.
It made me wonder, though. Isn't the point of marriage, or any relationship in which you love the other person really, to do things for them or in their best interest even if it means that you put yourself out? I know that, during the course of the average day, I put myself out numerous times for D, C, and J. And, except for when J wants apple juice or milk at 6:30 on Saturday morning and it's an unopened jug so he needs help opening it, I don't mind putting their needs and wants before mine. (I am NOT a morning person, and regardless of when I wake up or even get out of bed, my brain does not kick in until 9am.)
So, I wonder, am I the anomaly or is he? Is it normal to consider it an act of love to put others before yourself, or is it normal to refuse to go out of your way for someone you love?
22 May 2009
What a great night
I had the best night tonight. Which was good, because I had a really crappy morning of feeling under appreciated and taken advantage of by those in my life.
Here's how it all began:
We get home for the evening, C is doing (yet more) homework (that he hadn't turned in the first, second, or third time the teacher asked for it - grrr), J is watching Return to Neverland, and I am taking a shower. D gets home, takes a shower, and then we wait for C to finish up his work and for J to finish organizing their shoes in their bedroom (seriously - he gets it from me, I know). D had a crappy day at work, and I didn't feel like cooking, so we opt to go out and get something quick, easy, and not horribly expensive. D is driving my car (not something I love, since I LOVE to drive, but I'm trying to yield on that since it's not a biggie in the grand scheme and he feels that the man should always drive. . . . but I'm an excellent driver, and not just on Saturdays in the driveway ;-) (that would be from Rain Man for you cinematically-challenged readers).) Anyway, D is driving and we are heading off to. . . we have no idea. Haven't made it that far, but the windows are down, the moonroof is open, and the radio is blaring. Red Hot Chili Peppers come on and D says he knows where we're going, and changes lanes to turn right. I look at him, look at the road we're turning on, and smile.
We pull into my favorite Mexican restaurant in town. There are many others that are just as good, if not better on quality of food, but I LOVE this restaurant. And here's why: J and I walk in the door and instantly, the bartender, manager, and five servers turn, see us, smile and say "Hola!" The closest server reaches for two kids menus, lots of crayons, and two adult menus before even asking me how many. He takes us to our table and another server is bringing me my margarita on the rocks. . . that I haven't ordered yet. THIS is why I love this restaurant. Anyway, the food was great, the service was great, all as usual. When we were done, J had done all of his own ordering with the server, even attempting to say "gracias" when the guy brought him his plate. So, when he brings our check, he hands it to J, playing. J looks up at him, smiles, and says, "Thank you." Then he turns to me, whispering, "I don't have any money with me, Mommy. Can I borrow some from you?" He wouldn't let me take the check from him, so he and I go up to the cashier where the manager is. He's talking to us (we used to be neighbors, way back when I was unmarried and working in the leasing office of an apartment complex) while he finishes up a credit card payment from another customer. Then J hands him the check. He looks at it, tells me they forgot to put my discount on it, takes 10% off, then tells J the total. I hand J the cash, he pays, takes the change, uses his manners, and gives me all the change save a quarter, which he promptly uses to buy Skittles from a machine.
But how freakin' cute is that - my 5 year-old bought the family dinner! And was SOOO proud of himself, too.
Here's how it all began:
We get home for the evening, C is doing (yet more) homework (that he hadn't turned in the first, second, or third time the teacher asked for it - grrr), J is watching Return to Neverland, and I am taking a shower. D gets home, takes a shower, and then we wait for C to finish up his work and for J to finish organizing their shoes in their bedroom (seriously - he gets it from me, I know). D had a crappy day at work, and I didn't feel like cooking, so we opt to go out and get something quick, easy, and not horribly expensive. D is driving my car (not something I love, since I LOVE to drive, but I'm trying to yield on that since it's not a biggie in the grand scheme and he feels that the man should always drive. . . . but I'm an excellent driver, and not just on Saturdays in the driveway ;-) (that would be from Rain Man for you cinematically-challenged readers).) Anyway, D is driving and we are heading off to. . . we have no idea. Haven't made it that far, but the windows are down, the moonroof is open, and the radio is blaring. Red Hot Chili Peppers come on and D says he knows where we're going, and changes lanes to turn right. I look at him, look at the road we're turning on, and smile.
We pull into my favorite Mexican restaurant in town. There are many others that are just as good, if not better on quality of food, but I LOVE this restaurant. And here's why: J and I walk in the door and instantly, the bartender, manager, and five servers turn, see us, smile and say "Hola!" The closest server reaches for two kids menus, lots of crayons, and two adult menus before even asking me how many. He takes us to our table and another server is bringing me my margarita on the rocks. . . that I haven't ordered yet. THIS is why I love this restaurant. Anyway, the food was great, the service was great, all as usual. When we were done, J had done all of his own ordering with the server, even attempting to say "gracias" when the guy brought him his plate. So, when he brings our check, he hands it to J, playing. J looks up at him, smiles, and says, "Thank you." Then he turns to me, whispering, "I don't have any money with me, Mommy. Can I borrow some from you?" He wouldn't let me take the check from him, so he and I go up to the cashier where the manager is. He's talking to us (we used to be neighbors, way back when I was unmarried and working in the leasing office of an apartment complex) while he finishes up a credit card payment from another customer. Then J hands him the check. He looks at it, tells me they forgot to put my discount on it, takes 10% off, then tells J the total. I hand J the cash, he pays, takes the change, uses his manners, and gives me all the change save a quarter, which he promptly uses to buy Skittles from a machine.
But how freakin' cute is that - my 5 year-old bought the family dinner! And was SOOO proud of himself, too.
11 May 2009
Moving On. . .
Lately, I've really been struggling. I've been struggling to find motivation, struggling to find peace, struggling to find joy. Some times are easier than others, and some situations are becoming increasingly more difficult. D and I have often discussed moving away, and now we're more convinced that moving is the solution to so many of my (and our) problems. We love where we are, but. . . .
we don't love not getting to make choices for ourselves, or being able to raise the boys how we want, or having to depend and rely on each other and ourselves when things get rough.
As of right now, we are NOT moving. That said, we ARE looking. We have no destination in mind, only that it not be in Tennessee. We are looking for somewhere D can transfer, and somewhere we can afford with one income. I want somewhere warmer, with less winter. D wants somewhere with four true seasons, and less humidity. We both want a red state, but will settle with a strongly red county in a blue state.
Now I'm going to cuddle with J and watch cartoons.
we don't love not getting to make choices for ourselves, or being able to raise the boys how we want, or having to depend and rely on each other and ourselves when things get rough.
As of right now, we are NOT moving. That said, we ARE looking. We have no destination in mind, only that it not be in Tennessee. We are looking for somewhere D can transfer, and somewhere we can afford with one income. I want somewhere warmer, with less winter. D wants somewhere with four true seasons, and less humidity. We both want a red state, but will settle with a strongly red county in a blue state.
Now I'm going to cuddle with J and watch cartoons.
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