The past few days I've wanted so badly to say this to my mother-in-law. Oh, to update on her, the chemo was effective and supposedly removed all the cancer from the lymph nodes. The cancer is still in the lungs. She is having her mastectomy on January 3. She waited too long to call to have it done this year and be under this year's deductible. The oncologist told her that she should go ahead and have the surgery done, since the longer she waits the higher the risk of the cancer spreading even more is.
Now then, a little bit of a rant, since my soul needs purging. Let me set the stage a bit. Two years ago, my mother-in-law bought C and his cousin each a Nintendo DSi. She did not buy one for J. D and I had some issue with that, but felt that J was too young at the time, so were willing to overlook it. Fast forward to this year. We have been told that Christmas will be less than typical at their house this year, as they are borrowing money from their 401k to pay for gifts. Not a problem. We have no issue with that, as we enjoy saving money and also being able to give our children the "big" things that they want without being overshadowed by what the grandparents give. D gets a phone call about a week ago. Do we mind if they give C a netbook? He asks me. I tell him that is fine if they want to, since I know he wants one, but that I was planning to get each of the boys an iPad for their birthdays in the spring. If they do the netbook now, C won't get an iPad (since I feel it's redundant). D agreed. He told them it was fine, and did not mention the iPads. He then asks if it's just C getting one. They say no, they bought two, one for C and one for his cousin, K. D tells them that if they give C and K each a netbook and not J, then J needs something comparable and special that he really wants, and such an item is a Nintendo DSi XL. He has been begging for one and has proven he is responsible enough for one, not to mention that he "deserves" one for his behavior and work ethic at school. She then gives D guilt for daring to tell her what to give as a gift. And says that the DSi is too expensive to give a six year old. She then calls me last night... "I was looking at all the gifts and realized that, while J had more presents, I hadn't spent as much on him as I had the big kids (all of four years old, SO big!), so I went out and got him a few more things." Then she tells D that she thought WE were getting him the DSi, so she looked at games for him. SERIOUSLY???
This woman then gets on Facebook and sees where my mom has posted a picture of her and J at the school's holiday lunch (it was supposed to be Thanksgiving but got canceled and ended up being Christmas). J called her the night before and asked her to go. Didn't ask me or D, just wanted Grandma there. His lunch, his call. Mother-in-law proceeds to text D and say, "I saw where she got to eat lunch with J. Sure wish I could do things like that with him." My response, "No, you don't. When you're invited, you don't come. J asks why you don't love him as much as you love C and K. You just got pissy because you see he has a grandmother whom he loves unconditionally and who loves him unconditionally in return." (Of course, I didn't send this to her, I just verbalized it to D.) You can't expect him to want to see you and be around you if you are NEVER happy and never show him the same attention and love that you show the other two grandkids. I don't blame J for wanting his other grandmother there instead.
And they're already buying C stuff for this trip we're taking, but ignoring J completely. So help me, I may go crazy. D has already said he is turning his phone off when we leave. If anyone needs us, they can call my phone, because I have no problems ignoring phone calls. This trip is for US, not an opportunity for us to walk around missing out on things because we''re on the phone with people back home.
There. I feel better now.
I'll write more after the trip. Everyone have a safe weekend!
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