Changes in Attitudes

There have been many things that have happened lately, and they have all tested me on many levels, and tested my marriage and family. Even now, we are still being tried. We have withstood all that has been thrown at us. I know that we will continue to do so. We have been so very fortunate in that none of these obstacles have involved personal demons. It is just so very hard to feel as though you are even maintaining the status quo, much less getting ahead, when every time you turn around there is something else (unexpected) that demands your time, attention, focus, money, and/or effort. That's where we are. Much like the other night; we had sat and talked, working out a practical game plan of sorts for the next few weeks. We felt as though we had a handle on the situation and would be able to use our plan and come through, if not comfortably, at least no worse for the wear. Then we have two of our windows broken by a non-English speaking person with no insurance. The next day, still thinking we can make things work, we are asked (by someone who knows the situation VERY well, no less) to pay for something that we thought had been taken care of last year. (My in-laws had offered last Spring to pay for our new washer and dryer, and we thought they had; apparently, they put it on their credit card and now, a year later, are asking us to pay the bill for them. Because we have an extra $1500 to do that with.) Then, my in-laws offer to put my cell phone on their cell phone plan. They bought D his phone and put him on their plan a few years ago (after I told them that I had done the same; he opened mine first, then theirs, and, in front of me, his mother said that I could take the one I got him back. I was furious.). D was all in favor of moving my phone to their plan, saying it would save us the money, etc. I pointed out the discounts that I have on my plan, having it combined with the internet, television, University discounts, and the fact that I have been a customer with an account for 10 years. Then I pointed out the fact that I was under contract. He finally agreed that it was not a good idea. I have no problem with consolidating to save money. I have no problem with living more frugally to save money. I do have a problem with destroying any relationships I have built (and that save money long-term) in an effort to save a few pennies today. And, despite my best efforts to encourage this to happen, D adamantly refuses to go back to court to get child support for C. We have not gotten any child support in four years, and there was still back child support due to us then. If nothing else, that money would pay for C's medications and co-pays at the doctors' offices. Best case, it would make up enough of the difference that we would not be so worried. When D gets stressed and worried, he gets angry. When I get stressed and worried, I get cold and become unable to eat. On the plus side, being unable to eat does save money. . . but is not acceptable.
To finally work my way back around to the subject, however, is this: I woke up this morning, with one ear bleeding, the other ear aching, cold, head hurting, back aching, and still sleepy. Despite all of that, I also woke up with the knowledge that IT WILL ALL WORK OUT. We will never be given more than we can handle. These are only tests, only trials on our faith. The saying is "it has to hurt to heal," and that applies to our spiritual life so very often. This is our "hurt" so that we can heal. We will be better for this. We will be stronger for this. Our faith will be greater for this. Our marriage will be stronger for this. I know it. I woke up with that attitude, that realization this morning, and it has made all the difference in my outlook.