My laundry was caught up. . . until yesterday. I had everything folded (!) and put away, and then the new week started. I've only got two loads to fold today, though, assuming I don't wash anymore. This weekend really did a number on me emotionally. I had the aftershock of the tornado hit me, and that's what really brought on my anxiety. I was incapable of doing much of anything all weekend. D has been able to get quite a bit of overtime (stayed over 2.5 hours last night, went in 2 hours early today, staying late again tonight), which is GREAT, but leaves me needing him here. I love being home with the kids, really, I do. But when I'm all torn up like I am right now, I need reinforcements to come in, even if it's just so I can go take a shower. I'm working my way through the panicked, I can't leave the kids in a room alone stage. I'm getting past the I must have my loved ones within reach at all times phase. Rationally, I understand and know what I need to do. Emotionally, I'm making myself sick, literally, worrying about things. I've made a lot of progress from the past few years to today. Now I recognize the signs and know how to talk myself through it. I know what to remind myself of, and have had people write it down so I can read it from them when I'm about to panic. I'm getting there. I'm growing up. . . finally.
Everything happens for a reason, and we may never know what that reason is. I'm just trying to stop making up reasons myself.
Girl, I'm right there with you. Today, I feel better. I've barely been able to function this whole weekend. And I would let the kids out of my sight... hated having them in their own beds. I love you and I'm so proud of you for overcoming this anxiety. You will surpass it!
ReplyDelete