Hope

You know it's gotten bad when you're afraid to feel hopeful because the rug keeps getting pulled out from under you. That's where I'm at now. I know I've asked God to not give me any job that isn't what my family needs, but every time I think He is giving me one, I don't get it. I know it's that I'm thinking and not trusting. I am just, well, afraid to hope any more. I trust and have faith it will work out as it is meant to, but I can't find it in me to hope for anything any more. How sad is that??